Panache

Life is a tough teacher. It takes tests and makes you realize the lessons you should have learned in those circumstances. We often learn those tough lessons but seldom get to pragmatically practice them in our lives.

Here are some hard lessons life teaches us and how to practically follow them. Remember, it is all about the mindset and attitude.

You need to give up your past.

This may sound like a regular advice. But it is hard not to think about the things, you could have done back then. As you know, our mind either lives in the past or lives in the future thinking about scenarios. It is hard to get your head out of that fantastic reply while in the shower when the conversation ended months ago, years ago, and sometimes decades ago.

In such situations, remind yourself, that you know it now because you are not the same person anymore. Affirm yourself that since you are familiar with the situation, you will give a suitable reply and decide on a course of action if such situations reappear in your life.

Many of us are still stuck in the past like childhood days, or traumatic moments like bullying and certain failures when we were figuring out our position in the world. Forgive yourself for that. Be gentle with yourself and understand you did not know better then, but you do know better now.

Also, remember you cannot solve the problems with the same mind that created them in the first place. You need to have better experiences, change the neurology of your brain for the better, and hence find an effective solution for a better future.

Also read: How to learn to let go?

Take responsibility for yourself and your mistakes.

The world is still debating over whether meritocracy is still relevant in society or not. Or should we just give up in front of the people who have power and financial backing, and thus can run the world? But you need to understand no matter how the society is working or how the people think it is working. None of it is in your hands. There are things that you can control and there are things you cannot.

However, you need to understand and influence the things to be in your favor that are in your hands at the moment. Successful personalities don’t ponder over the things that they can’t influence but they brace themselves and their work against any tide by making effective decisions.

That can only be possible once you take responsibility for yourself. That includes your failures and your successes as well. You cannot be dependent on the factors that are not in your hands. Once you understand that no one is responsible for you but you. You’ll move forward after weighing the pros and cons at each step to make better decisions in your life. Failure can come your way but you will eventually learn from it.

Behave in the way you want to be.

We live in a social system. And we often rely on others for social approval. However, in the world of social media, instant gratification, and validation-seeking competitions, we often find ourselves in the race to win people’s approval even though we don’t intend to.

In such cases, a clear objective or goal becomes necessary. You need to understand that you are working on yourself to improve and not for shallow validation. Hence, you need to set clear milestones for yourself. You need to comprehend and have a clear vision of who you want to be. What that person is like? What are their habits like? How do they live their life?

Answering these questions can help you set up manageable parameters. It would not only show you a clear image of where you are and where you want to be. But it would also save you from fake gratifications and ego-boosting acts of other people. Once you know who you want to be, people’s opinions whether good or bad won’t affect you as much.

You will never be fully understood by anyone and that’s okay!

Empathy is an illusion. The more I get into the world, the more I realize that no matter how close I am to a few people in my life, no one will ever understand me the way I want to be understood.

You would have childhood friends who know what you were like as a kid. But they don’t know what happened to you once you entered adulthood. You might have college friends but they might not understand your work life. It is a far-fetched thought to have your life partner understand you the way you want to be understood. But that is not the purpose of life.

The purpose of your life is not to be understood by the people. But to understand yourself. They can come as close to your life experience as they can. But it is you who have to live your life and get through it. Your laughter, your tears, your success, and your failures are all you. You do not need to prove yourself to anyone in the world but yourself.

And proving yourself does not mean that you start defining yourself with the achievements that you have. But to find a purpose in your life and abide by it.

Also read: 5 expectations that GenZ has that they should not anymore.

Find a deeper purpose in your Work.

In the capitalistic world, most people are not only living from pay check to pay check. But they live, plan, and dream based on the numbers they can make at the end of each month. No wonder everyone’s life looks mundane. People often complain about burnout and losing interest in the jobs they once dreamt of.

It could be because they never found a deeper meaning in the thing that they were planning to do for half of their lives. They not only planned their life around it but put all the money, time, and resources into making that happen. Finding a deeper meaning in your goals and life path can not only multiply your enthusiasm it is more sustainable for your career and life. It also gives a boost to your performance.

It may seem that the world has paved the way to meaningless jobs. However, each of us is a part of a system and a giant machinery. Hence, recognizing your role in the system and how significant it is would not only give you more confidence but the next time you would be working, you would be doing it with utmost pride.

A pizza delivery boy brings happiness home, a sugar delivery truck driver transports sweetness to the bakery, etc. It is not just about making a living anymore; it must be about investing your precious life into meaningful work.

 What lessons listed above did you learn the hard way? Please tell us in the comments. Are there any other life facts that you would want to add to the list?

Also read: You can be following your passion and still be burnt out! Want to know how?