Panache

A bad breakup, a longing for a partner who is not in your life anymore, or unrequited love, all these feelings can make you depressed and lonely. It is hurtful to let go of someone emotionally.

But with the right steps, self-reflection, and support you can create a new life and move on to a better future. If you are confused about how to do the same. Read the steps below and welcome a shift in your life.

Remember, it is now or never.

Step 1: Acknowledge your Feelings.

The first and most important step is to acknowledge your feelings. It is also the hardest. Because your ego plays a significant part in resisting reflection or contemplation.

But only after honestly looking deeper is when you acknowledge your feelings in the best way possible. You need to dive deep into understanding and knowing yourself better to know your feelings and what they are made of.

You can consult a therapist or a friend who can help you reflect or contemplate your feelings. You can always practice journaling and see how you feel in real-time. Once you would read about your feelings, you would understand them in a better way. Hence, it would be easier for you to acknowledge them.

Also read: How to become stronger than your emotions?

Step 2: Contemplate why you want them in your life.

If you can look past your ego, you will be able to see why you require someone. It could be an emotional requirement. Your emotional needs might not have been met or fulfilled over the years. It could be trauma attachment. It could be other things as well. After you accept your feelings, the next step is to understand why you need someone in your life.

According to the author of the book “The Power of Now”, Eckhart Tolle, “Nothing out there will satisfy you except temporarily and superficially, but you may need to experience many disillusionments before you realize that truth.”

Once you realize what part has been missing in you that you feel the unhealthy need of someone in your life, that would be the first step to healing yourself.

Step 3: Accept that they may not be right for you.

When you invest so much energy, time, and sometimes money in someone and they do not stay in your life in any way possible, it is extremely hard to process that situation.

But you need to understand that they might not be right for you. Keeping a positive approach during these times could not only make you more resilient through the tough times of your life but also make you much more emotionally stronger than before.

It is ideal to surround yourself with supportive people. Intentionally detaching yourself from someone may create a void in your life and only being around positive and supportive people can help you through that.

Step 4: Readjust the things that remind you of them.

Being in the same situations and around similar things may remind you of the person you were with. It can be observed in your online behaviour as well.

You might feel the urge to check their profile and how they are doing away from you. But to practice a healthy detachment, you can always create blocks. For example, you can control your social media usage, and replace that time with something else.

Get rid of the personal belongings that remind you of them, change the settings of your room, or change the route to your home if it helps. Understand, you will need a lot of self-discipline and control in order to do these things.

Step 5: Be patient during emotional detachment.

Only patience and self-control can help you through that process. Emotional detachment from someone can be a really hard process especially if you have spent a lot of time with someone.

Old memories, habits, and moments spent with them may trigger you from time to time. But once you know those feelings and emotions won’t bring you any productive results, you are more likely to brush off them as quickly as possible.

For a while, even new things might remind you of the same old past. However, once you let yourself settle with your new emotions, it will become effortless for you to have newfound happiness.

Also read: How to learn to let go?

Step 6: Fill the void with better things.

Detachment is a painful journey and could leave a void that can never be fulfilled. But you need to fulfill it since you become more prone to emptiness and feelings of numbness if you don’t fill that void with new and better things.

You can fill that void in two ways. Firstly, you can self-reflect and do things that you could not do when you were with them. Secondly, you can experience new things by exploring or building new facets of your personality.

Remember, that this could also be a trial-and-error thing. You might not succeed in accomplishing true happiness immediately but if you have followed the above steps healthily, you can be successful in your quest to fill that void with something new.

Step 7: Shift your focus towards yourself.

Life can get out of control at times. It can get sad. But if you can shift your focus slightly, you can always find something to work on to have better days. The best part is that these moments give you an opportunity to re-focus and bring bright changes.

These are the moments when you can collect some motivation and try to better yourself in every way possible. You can always find something to work on in your personality.

Physical, Mental, Emotional, or Spiritual changes in your personality can bring dramatic shifts in your life. All you need to do is to work on yourself with firm determination and self-discipline.

Also read: How to become the best version of yourself?

Also read: How to “work on yourself” effectively?

Step 8: Re-imagine your life and make a plan.

Once you have built the new you, you can lay a foundation for your new life. Now, when you have worked on yourself thoroughly, it is hard for obstacles to distract you.

You can live a new life now and make things better for yourself. Your past experiences can make you stronger and wiser. No wonder you can change the path of your life now.

And to do that you need a plan. Make sure you create a plan and stick to it. A plan will save you from distraction and you can always appreciate yourself for smaller wins. Thus, strengthening your belief system.

Also read: A step-by-step guide to achieving your goals.

Step 9: Open yourself to new pursuits.

When you go through a dramatic change in your life, there is a high possibility that you do not see yourself as your past self. You need to realize that this new you need more and better pursuits than your past self.

Always be open to better ideas, adventures, and experiencing new things. This way you would be able to see life through a different lens. It would not only help you detach from the painful past but give your life a new meaning.

Pushing your boundaries and trying things out of your comfort zone can be a good idea during this process.

Step 10: Practice Self Love and Healing.

When you are working on yourself, there are times when you can get harsh while bringing a drastic change in your life. However, don’t forget to show some self-love to yourself. And give yourself time to heal.

This time can range from months to decades. It can vary from one individual to another. But do not forget to be kind to yourself. It is essential that you cater to your mental and emotional needs during this time.

Also read: 7 types of rests that Lead to Complete Wellness.

Conclusion

The path toward detachment and moving forward is full of pain, emptiness, and anxiety. You are so habitual to the old patterns. It is difficult to move on from them. At the end of the day, you need to be there for yourself.

Do not forget to take help from friends, family, therapists, and loved ones. Always remember, there are always new ways to build a new life and live through better life adventures.