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Generational Trauma is psychological or emotional wounds that are passed down from one generation to another. They are toxic practices or traits acquired from previous generations. This can affect you deeply.

Below are some ways or steps that can help you overcome generational trauma in your life.

Also read: 10 glaring signs you have intergenerational trauma?

Observe the toxic pattern.

If you are reading this, then you have already observed that there is something wrong with your family. Something bad had happened, and that had impacted generations of your family, and you can see that in your behaviour and attitude as well.

You already understand that these traits are not something that you have on your own but that you have acquired from your family lineage. You already know that either of your parents had that, or this is something that impacted your grandparents as well.

You first need to pick on these toxic patterns and acknowledge that you already have them. It could be because you have observed these things when you were growing up, or this is something in your genes. No matter what, you need to accept that these are toxic for your life, and you need to change these patterns.

You can take the help of someone who is not a part of your family to devise all the toxic patterns or you can observe and understand them.

Learn more about intergenerational trauma.

Once you observe the pattern, you need to learn more about how intergenerational traumas are passed through various generations. As mentioned above, you need to observe whether it is something you acquired while growing up. Or a habit that you picked up because you saw a lot of that around you.

One of the biggest pop culture examples is the character Nate Jacobs or Nathaniel Jacobs from the HBO show Euphoria. You can see how his father was a supportive father in his own capacity. However, Nate could not fully comprehend what his father was doing at that age, and thus, his life became more and more toxic.

It was not necessarily the character’s fault, but his circumstances made him like that. You can learn more about intergenerational trauma by watching documentaries, reading books, or listening to podcasts. Educating yourself is important before you start working on it.

Give some love back.

Once you understand where your intergenerational trauma came from, you need to give some empathy and love to the people who do not understand it yet. Be understanding of their situations and know that it is not their fault completely.

You may be the wisest one in your family to point it out and start working on it. But that does not lessen the pain of the people who were already affected by it. For example, if your parents had bad parenting or no guidance when they were growing up. Forgive them for not knowing what they were doing with you.

It may have been tough for you when you were growing up, but now that you understand things, you are in the position to give them the love and understanding that they never received from their parents. So, offer that ear and a word of love when you get time with them.

Also read: How to re-parent yourself to heal your inner child?

Take time to heal.

Once you realize the trauma, you need some time to heal. Sometimes, it may come as a shock to you to know how deeply it is rooted in your behaviour and how critically it is affecting your lifestyle.

As shown in the Netflix show, Bojack Horseman, Bojack’s father was a failed novelist, and he imposed his career’s frustration over his son. It would have been a different story if Bojack acknowledged his father’s absence in his life and made a change in his lifestyle.

Bojack never spent any time healing from his trauma. You may have to make some changes in your lifestyle, your behaviour, and your attitude to bring about positive change. It may take a lot of time and effort for you to heal and understand that it is not your fault. And some more effort to get rid of the toxic habits and make a difference.

Also read: 10 ways to make room for the childhood you, while adulting.

Detach, if necessary.

When you are healing, you need a lot of time and effort to bring that change in your life. But you cannot bring that change in the environment where you acquired that toxicity. Therefore, it is necessary to detach or draw strict and strong boundaries if necessary.

Do not feel guilty about doing the same in your life. Sometimes, you need to get away from your family to bring a healthy change in your life. So that your life does not get affected by it any further. So, you do not impose the same toxicity on the coming generation.

The best way to do it is to think critically about yourself and your mental and emotional health. Once you start prioritizing yourself, you would want to get away from the toxicity and spend your time creating something significant and living a healthy life.

Also read: 10 signs you have an anxious attachment style relationship.

Develop healthy coping mechanisms.

When you are surviving through severe generational trauma, you develop some coping mechanisms. Some of them could be healthy, while others might not be. You also need to understand and work on them accordingly.

You may take the help of a therapist or a friend to recognize which of your coping mechanisms can be sustainable in your life and which ones you need to change.

At times, you can’t get rid of your trauma, and the impact is so great that it has defined your life and personality. It is important to develop healthy coping mechanisms in these situations. So that it does not impact your physical, mental, and emotional health.

Support the next generation.

Since you are aware of the intergenerational trauma in your family, it is your responsibility that the coming generation does not get impacted. That is why it is essential to make the change in your life and check your attitude, so that the next generation don’t acquire it.

You have to think deeply about how intergenerational trauma can affect your future family and prepare for it early on. If it is something your kids have already acquired, then teach them a healthy way to deal with those emotions.

You must be determined that it has to end with you, and no future generation will be impacted by any generational trauma or toxicity. You can consult a therapist as to how you can bring that change and save the next generation from it.

Communication and empathy are the keys.        

When you are healing from generational trauma, practicing detachment is not enough. You need to make a supportive environment for yourself and coming generations, so they don’t fall into the same pit again.

You already know that you can’t flourish in the same environment that made you sick. And to make an effective change in your life, you need to move away from said place. Therefore, it makes an environment where you can heal as well as for your future life and family.

In this new environment, you can bring in healthy practices. Clear communication and a lot of empathy can bring a dramatic change in your life, and it can write a new story for your family.

Reconnect with your inner child.

One of the best ways to heal from intergenerational trauma is to reconnect with your inner child. It is like imagining yourself when the trauma or external factors did not affect you in any shape or form. When you were your true self.

Quoting the above example of a fictional character from the series Euphoria. Nate’s mother tells him about how he was a sweet and innocent kid, but something changed when he turned eight, and that is when he turned dark. That is also when he discovered his father’s collection.

It takes a lot of effort to let go of everything that you have become to even remember the naïve kid you were when these things didn’t even touch you. But catering to your inner kid, soothing and healing it in different ways, can heal your generational trauma faster. It would remove the guilt and show you a healthier way of living.

Seek help and therapy.

Most people don’t even realize that it is not the way they are, but they are carrying a heavy burden that was imposed on them through various generations. You can’t follow the above steps if you don’t even realize and acknowledge it. That is where a therapist can help you.

Don’t feel shy or intimidated about asking for help from a therapist. You don’t have to open up about your family history and your past traumas if you are not comfortable. A therapist can assist you with your current state of mind and help you accordingly.

With their help, you can not only understand the complexity of your emotions. But they will also help you segregate what was imposed on you as compared to what you feel like about things. You are an individual in yourself, and your trauma should not define you in any shape or form. A therapist will help you do just that.

Also read: 9 reasons to de-stigmatize therapy.

Conclusion.

Generational Trauma is a complex topic. Because it is not something you can know about or something that has occurred to you. But it could be your definition of normal. But until you realize that living with this trauma cannot be called healthy living.

Consider that it is possible to step away from trauma and start a new life. It is possible that you can build a life of your own without anything toxic that probably defined most of your life. It is a choice. You just need to make one for yourself.

Also read: How does trauma impact you?

Also read: 10 main causes of depression.