Panache

When you achieve something significant in life, you are bound to attract some haters. These people do not like your success. They do not like to see you shine or see you happily living your life. Some of them just hate your existence unreasonably.

There is no denying if someone has such negative feelings towards you, it will affect you. It may affect your life, career, or your mental health. But there are strategic ways to deal with them. All you need to do is develop these skills.

Below are some of the ways to deal with haters in various situations. Share your journey of combating haters with us and how did that affect you?

Take the high road.

However, it heavily depends on the situation. However, it is ideal to take the high road. The moment you would stoop down to their level and start fighting with them, there won’t be any difference between them and you.

Therefore, you need to maintain your elegance and grace. Understandably, it takes a lot of patience and understanding to do that. And it is not always the easy path.

The only reason you should do it is so that you don’t regret it in the future. You don’t regret going that low. Somewhere down the line, you would be glad you didn’t take that path.

You already know the saying that your haters will drag you down to their level and beat you with their experience. You do not let that happen.

Don’t lose your cool.

When dealing with your haters, you are bound to lose your cool. Your patience is heavily tested at every moment. And you want to answer them immediately.

Instead, try to approach things with reason. And don’t take the situation personally or emotionally. Most importantly, try not to snap. There are times, you would realize that this is exactly what your hater wanted. They will gaslight you and blame everything on you. Don’t let them have that pleasure.

When you see things with reason, you will realize that a lot of haters or matters don’t even require your attention or energy. Don’t spend your time indulging in menial matters. Be calm and let them do what they are doing.

Once they will see that there won’t be any reaction out of you. They will turn away and shift their energy somewhere else.

Be witty.  

Once you become reasonable when you see certain situations. The next skill you need to learn is to develop a comical approach. The primary objective of a hater is to get a reaction out of you. If they see that you would rather laugh at their actions, you already have the upper hand.

Therefore, it is ideal to cool certain situations with your witty replies or reactions. In Harry Potter, Professor Lupin takes a class on Defence Against the Dark Arts. In his lecture, he teaches students that the boggart will take the shape of what they fear the most. But they can rather think of something funny and change the situation in their favor.

Teach yourself the same lesson and develop this skill in yourself. You will not only be doing yourself a favor but you will also be setting an example of how to deal with the most difficult situations in life.

Can you find the root cause?  

There are times when you can see why someone hates you. Either you know it in your gut or you come to know it by other sources. Firstly, try to confirm it and understand if that could be true. Secondly, do not react as soon as you get your answer.

Make sure you do not let them know that you understand why they hate you. Only in the most extreme situations, call them out on it. They may try to deny it and may prove you wrong. In this case, you may ask them, “Why are they being a hater towards you?”

I am sure, they won’t have a clear answer. Most haters simply hate and act on their feelings. They do not understand or be reasonable about it. So, once you call them on it, you push them to take a reasonable approach instead of blindly acting on what they feel.

Don’t indulge.

On the contrary, some haters are well aware that they hate you. And there is no other way for them. They hate your existence and if it is up to them, they will chase you to the ends of the earth. But thank goodness, they are not the dictators here.

Though, they will try their best to provoke you in many ways. They may attack you. They may conspire and ask others to attack you. And to no one’s wonder, people will blindly follow them.

In these situations, do not indulge them. Do not give them that power over you to get that energy out of you. Once people see that there is no reaction from your side, they will realize that it was blatant hate and nothing else.

The best part of a technology-driven world is people find a new controversy every day. With people who are hell-bent on ruining you, you can’t negotiate with them. So, there will be empty back and forth. You can’t afford that wasted time in your life.

Accept and move on.

In most of the situations, you take the high road. You stay graceful and kind towards your haters. You let them have it their way. However, when being kind and understanding does not make a positive difference, can you really help the situation?

In such cases, you need to accept the situation and move on. Do not reply or act. Just remove yourself from the situation knowing no matter what you do you cannot make others understand things from your perspective.

Sometimes, you can’t help but acknowledge someone’s feelings towards you and make a new path for yourself. Being there will only deplete you of your positive energy. So, make sure you remove yourself out of their sight.

Also read: How to learn to let go?

See if negotiation can help.

Though most haters act on their feelings, if you ask them the logic behind that they might not have a clear answer. But there are times when some haters act logically towards you. Their hatred does not stem from feelings but they have real reasons to dislike you.

In that case, you can find common ground between the two. This method can only be followed by the people who want to resolve things and make it work. Like you, they should also understand that not everybody needs to like everybody to work with them.

With a reasonable and problem-solving approach, you can negotiate and come to terms to make it work. A good thing about this is even though you will remain haters, you will have mutual respect.

Be selective of your haters.

You cannot fight the world. At times, you may think that the world is against you. Especially, in the world of social media, if one person starts hating on you. People start doubling down on that hate. And soon, you realize that the world is full of haters.

You might not have met them, seen them, or known them but you still don’t understand why they crap on you so much. In this case, you need to remind yourself that you cannot fight with everyone. Nor do you need to reply.

You need to be cautious and selective of your haters. You need to fight with someone who is not among the crowd. But someone who individually targets you or is at your level. You are allowed to do that only in extreme cases. Otherwise, why waste your energy?

Take your stand.

Sometimes, it is not enough to take the high road. It is not enough to ignore the haters. In these times, you need to take your stand and prove your point. But remember to be precise and clear in your views.

This method can be followed when your haters start chasing you. They will collect the crowd and start coming after you. Therefore, you stop and strengthen yourself.

You make things clear from your end. And you put your perspective or side of the story on the table. So that everyone who has been blindly following your haters needs to understand your view as well.

It may be hard. It may require a lot of courage from you. Once you show that you are confident and clear in your viewpoint. People will understand and stop chasing you.

Also read: 10 ways to improve your confidence.

Revenge is the dish best-served cold.

According to Psychologists and Psychotherapists, you are bound to meet someone who is either narcissistic, manipulative, toxic, or megalomaniac. These people are not haters but would hate it if you did not follow them. They will make sure to make you dance at their fingertips. And hate you for opposing them.

Thus, they will be your hater because of the menial reasons. They may spread rumours about you. They may be toxic towards you. And sometimes, manipulate others against you. And you may feel powerless against them.

In these scenarios, learn to play the long game. Try to focus on your life and living it to the fullest. Stay away from showing off to them. Just concentrate on your personal and professional growth. Most haters may try to keep tabs on you. And success could be the biggest slap to their faces.

Also read: A step by step guide to achieving your goals.

Conclusion.

It is not easy to deal with the haters. They make you feel cornered, powerless, chased, and bullied. They affect your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. However, if you tackle the situation in any of the above ways, there are higher chances of getting out of it unscathed.

Remember, your goal is not to fight, nor to bring someone down. Your only goal is to be the best version of yourself and live life as happily and fulfilled as possible.