Panache

Many women silently struggle with low self-esteem, doubting their worth despite giving their best in every area of life. This blog explores the root causes of low self-worth in women, including societal pressure, comparison, and emotional fatigue.

Discover how to boost confidence, rebuild your sense of value, and develop a healthy self-image through mindful, practical steps. Learn to stop measuring yourself by others’ standards and start embracing your true identity.

If you’re ready to break the cycle of self-doubt, this guide offers empowering strategies to help you reconnect with your confidence and unlock your full potential.

Upbringing affects your self-esteem.

If you are thinking, why don’t you have the same kind of self-esteem as others have? The answer may be hidden in your childhood. Your self-worth or self-esteem starts building while you are growing up. Even when you are completely dependent on your caregivers.

Therefore, any negative behavior from them, like abuse (physical or verbal), negligence, inconsistency, absenteeism, or inattentiveness, may lead to self-esteem issues. As a kid, you start internalizing that it is happening because there is something wrong with you.

So, you might want to look for childhood trauma or any other negative childhood experience that may have impacted your self-worth.

Know yourself.

One of the best ways to increase your self-esteem is to know yourself as much as you can. It is an important aspect. Once you become aware of your strengths and weaknesses, it will be hard for you to be affected by negative situations.

A person with low self-esteem tend to question themselves and become extremely anxious as soon as they are thrown into a negative situation. In such scenarios, only one thing can counter such low-energy thoughts, and that is thinking rationally.

Knowing what you are and are not capable of can help you with that. As soon as a negative thought comes to your mind, your knowledge of self will counter it immediately.

For example, you may think you are not good enough since you are a procrastinator. Therefore, any leadership position would be hard for you to handle. On the other hand, you may think that you have effective problem-solving abilities which can help you in becoming a successful leader.

Therefore, knowing yourself will become your first line of defense as soon as your self-esteem starts taking a hit.

Get rid of social conditioning.

How many times have you been told that you are not good enough? Maybe it was not in a similar language, but it was in other words. “You are too fat.” “You are too skinny.” “You are too tomboyish; that is why boys don’t approach you.” “You don’t seem to be dating material.”

It is not just the things said to you by the people around you. Sometimes, our social conditioning is so subtle that we barely recognize it. When little girls see only fair beauty on the screen, a certain body type is considered beautiful. They immediately start comparing themselves.

In this way, they not only internalize the feeling of not being good enough, but they also make it part of their belief system. Unfortunately, this social conditioning has transferred from the big screen to the smaller screen. These are more accessible and thus strengthen the negative social conditioning of women.

But have you ever tried to see yourself after removing the glasses of social conditioning? When was the last time you saw yourself purely from your own perspective and not from the eyes of the people on the internet or that surrounding you?

If you have been struggling with your self-esteem for a while now, you need to step away from social conditioning and shed your perspective. If your social media feed has been affecting your sense of self, try to stay away from it for a while. You may immediately notice a difference once you minimize the use.

Accept yourself.

What is a person with some flaws? Still that person. Self-acceptance and self-esteem go hand in hand. Once you start accepting yourself for who you are, your self-esteem and your belief in yourself will naturally increase.

In a world where perfection is sold from screen to screen, it is hard to accept your flaws. It is also hard to understand that your flaws are what make your identity. They make you, you! So, when you wish you were like someone else, you are hoping to leave your true identity and become them while they already exist.

Self-acceptance is also not a switch you wake up one day and decide that from now on you will be accepting yourself no matter what. It goes parallel to the journey of self-growth and self-discovery. There are always new situations and circumstances that appear in your life, and you deal with them accordingly.

However, in this journey, don’t beat yourself too much if you take the wrong way. Accept what happened and move on. A growth-seeking mindset is one where you seek solutions by reassuring your abilities. It will definitely help you in growing your self-esteem.

Invest in yourself.

Whenever women hear the advice “invest in yourself”, they often struggle with the reply “But I don’t deserve it.”. And that is the kind of conditioning that you are supposed to work on while you are working on increasing your self-esteem.

The first step is to change the belief that you deserve something only when you prove your worth. Instead, start believing that you deserve good because you are. Once you start glowing through the things you do for yourself, you will be setting yourself up for more milestones.

Prioritize self-investment and then get on the journey of achievement. Remember that a seed needs more care, soil, water, and nutrients to grow as compared to when it becomes a stronger tree. You need to invest in yourself first to be strong enough to prove your worth.

Investing in yourself means taking care of yourself in all aspects. You may want to give more attention to your health, wealth, knowledge, career, lifestyle, and most importantly, how you intend to live in the near future. Once you have a clear vision and you start working for yourself that is the true definition of investing in yourself.

Prioritize yourself.

While we briefly talked about prioritizing yourself above, it also constitutes a lot more things than you can imagine. It means ending toxic relationships that either look down on you or are mean to you in more than one way. It also means that you know and respect your boundaries. You are aware, and you don’t let people take advantage of you.

Most successful women are strategic in their approach, or at least that is how the world sees them. They walk in the world with strong armor on. With their life experiences, they have become aware that in the patriarchal world, they must not leave any space for anyone who can manipulate or gaslight them in any way.

This type of strength does not come naturally. But these women realize that if they intend to work with dignity and integrity, they need to prioritize themselves and keep any vampiric or sabotaging energy at bay.

Once it becomes your nature to separate good people from bad, you will feel strength and confidence in yourself. You will realize that it was an illusion that you needed someone to survive. You will know that you are more than enough for the things you want to accomplish in your life.

Find the gems in you. (shift your focus)

What do you see when you see yourself? Do you see a weak, heartbroken, hurt, and betrayed individual? Or do you see someone with resilience, focus, perseverance, strength, and a determined person? The only difference between the two answers is perspective.

Do you see yourself as the one who is a victim of life and its circumstances, or someone who knows and believes in themselves? A negative perspective towards yourself is a breeding ground for low self-esteem. You may not even realize how a small hurt can shape your beliefs about yourself.

Therefore, you must be on a constant quest to find those hidden gems within you. Life never throws similar curveballs at you. And it does only when you are capable of handling it. Instead of saying count the things you have endured, give a pat on your back to admire yourself that you endured through them like a warrior through fire.

So, next time, you sit with a kaleidoscope of memories of your life, shift your perspective a bit, and try to see yourself as someone who made it instead of someone who got beaten down. This will dramatically affect your self-esteem.

Work on your belief system.

What is your belief about yourself? As stated above, your self-esteem is built on how people validate you and how you see yourself. You have no control over how people perceive you, but you can heavily influence and understand how you see yourself. You must have clarity about your belief system.

In a world that is constantly manipulating and trying to impose its beliefs on you, it becomes important to have a stronger belief system. It is an individual’s internalized way of thinking about how something is right or wrong, true or false. A woman needs to have her own belief system. Otherwise, it is hard to survive in a world full of opinions and internet pages imposing them.

Understanding and building your belief system is a part of knowing yourself. However, a woman with high self-esteem and opinions must have clarity about her beliefs. This will not only enhance her self-esteem but will also give her space to know others’ belief systems. Thus, leading to a better understanding of them.

Remind yourself of your worth again.

While investing and prioritizing yourself needs conscious efforts initially, reminding yourself that you are worthy could be a one-time thing. Only if you internalize and believe in it to the core. You also need to understand that even though your worth may change in people’s eyes, it must not waver in your own eyes.

Once you go through really tumultuous times in life, you may want to take a pause and assess your worth in your own eyes. Especially in those times when external factors like people, society, or life circumstances lead you to question yourself and redefine who you are.

These are the moments when you must rise as a phoenix. But it may not be the easiest of tasks. It may need some time to heal, to know, and to balance yourself. But take time to remind yourself of your worth because that would be your strength. It will become the backbone of your self-esteem.

Understand and fill the gap.

Why do women look down on themselves so often? Even though the world believes in them, it takes them much more time and a quarter more feathers in their hats to see themselves worthy of respect and admiration. It may be because of their ambition.

On the other hand, it may also be because they internalized their low value, while others can see how you can shine. And you need to bridge the gap. You need to see the things in you that others can easily see. One major hack you can instantly do is start accepting compliments as it is.

While it is essential to have a high worth of yourself in your own eyes. It is also important to accept the praise and compliments as you deserve them, as I saw that coming.

Understand that it is okay to not be where you want to be in the moment. But that does not mean you will be worthy only when you reach there. You are worthy of everything and more in the present moment as well.

How you view yourself matters more than how others see you.

As mentioned above, self-esteem is made of how you see yourself and how others see you. These are two concrete pillars. One is nothing without the other. We are social beings, and social validation determines our status in the hierarchy of the world.

At the same time, we need self-validation too. Without that, we may never feel fulfilled through external compliments. In that case, external validation may turn into impostor syndrome and may not be good for mental well-being.

However, how you see yourself is still more important than how others see you. Because external validation may or may not be present, according to the circumstances. And you may not be completely dependent on it. But no matter what happens, if your self-esteem is strong, you may not need anything from the external world.

Now, you know what you need to work on.