Panache

Have you ever thought that you have been the biggest block in your life on the road to success or living the life you desire? If the answer is yes, you might be self-sabotaging yourself into living in your comfort zone and not getting anywhere.

Since it is a common behavior and occurs every day. You might not know how it is affecting your life.

Below are some signs that can help you understand your self-sabotaging patterns. Check if you have any of them.

Also read: 10 ways to stop sabotaging yourself.

Your Beliefs and Your Mindset.

One of the best ways to know if you are sabotaging yourself is to focus on your belief system. When you think you are not worthy of happiness, love, or good relationships, these thoughts gradually get imbibed in your belief system.

There could be many causes that might have influenced your thoughts to be like that. It could be childhood trauma, your past, or the current toxic environment that you have been living in. It can drastically affect your beliefs.

And before you even recognize the signs you have already accepted that you are not worthy of any good things in your life.

So, whenever a good thing happens, you either let it go or you sabotage yourself into taking the back seat during that time. Instead of fully enjoying that moment.

Your fear.

As soon as you get a little happiness in your life, you have the constant fear that something tragic will happen soon. This fear is the biggest sign that your self-sabotaging beliefs have a strong place in your mind and are already manipulating you.

This fear can come from past traumas that might have made you think don’t deserve happiness at any cost. This fear does not let you live the most genuine moments. You always have a certain anxiety in your heart.

It can not only affect your mental and emotional well-being. But if it persists longer, it affects your physical well-being as well.

You don’t take credit.

When was the last time you patted your back and took credit for all the good things that you have done in your life? When you have lived your life in a toxic environment, there are chances that you don’t know how to take compliments.

Also, if you are low on self-esteem and confidence, you don’t know how to receive any kind of appreciation. The fact that you don’t take credit for anything even though it was all you are a clear sign that you self-sabotage yourself heavily.

It not only decreases your true happiness but it also makes you feel that you have not achieved anything substantial in life. It can dramatically affect your mental and emotional health in the long term. And can add to your depression or anxiety.

You live in denial.

This is the biggest sign that you have a self-sabotaging tendency. There could be different types of denial that you might be living in. One type of denial is nothing good can happen to you.

Therefore, even if something good happens, you do not completely accept it. Another type of denial is that you are not in a toxic relationship when you are.

A third type of denial is that one day you will get a promotion at a place where there are bleak chances of promotions.

When you are living in these types of denial for a long time, you are bound to severely affect your life. The worst part is you will be responsible for it and you will be the only one getting hurt.

Blame Game.

No matter what happens in life, you always tend to blame yourself. From breaking a glass to being stuck in traffic. You will tell yourself that you put your glass there that is why it fell and since you woke up late, you are stuck in traffic.

It is the opposite of blaming someone else for things. Sometimes, it is good for you. You will take responsibility and will try to improve. But if it grows, hinders your progress, and makes you numb, it is called negative self-sabotaging yourself.

It is your inner voice that starts dictating and manipulating you to a certain extent. It affects your critical voice that defends you that it is not your fault. And soon, you live with a heavy burden on your personality that everything you do is wrong and that is not a healthy belief.

You put yourself Last.

This behavior mostly gets covered under a person being called kind and giving. You will initially get that validation from people around you but soon realize that you consider everyone above yourself.

You not only take care of their emotional, physical, and mental needs but you neglect yours. And you don’t even realize it until you are burnt out. Soon, you don’t understand the lack of energy, motivation, and built-up frustration in your behavior but it is there.

Prioritizing yourself is a form of self-care and most people who are in the habit of sabotaging themselves tend to put everyone on a pedestal and count themselves last. If you are one of them, you need to change your mindset.

You attract toxic energy into your life.   

Another disadvantage of keeping ourselves last and thinking low of ourselves is we always attract toxic energy into our lives. You might have often heard we attract who we are. A person who constantly self-sabotages themselves always attracts people who take advantage of them.

Since they keep everyone else on a pedestal, they attract people who like to climb by stepping on other people. And thus, their lives get filled with such kind of people who suck on their energy and leave them nothing.

You may not understand why your life is filled with such people and such energy. But if that is the case, you might want to double-check and see you have been living your true self and to your highest potential. Or have you been self-sabotaging yourself this whole time?

Also read: How to identify toxic friendships?

Also read: 6 types of toxic people at workplace and how to deal with them.

Also read: 8 ways to protect yourself from the toxicity around you.

You prefer to live in your comfort zone.

Someone who has become habitual to their self-sabotaging behavior barely notices that they prefer to live in their shell. They barely come out of it. If they are pushed out of their comfort zone, they face certain anxiety and uncomfortable feelings, which makes them go back.

Getting out of their comfort zone challenges their beliefs about themselves. It triggers their past trauma, their confidence, and self-esteem. If they do not fight their fears for a long time, there is a high chance that they will never be able to step out of their comfort zone.

This tendency not only stops them from doing anything new in their lives. But it also restricts them from living the kind of life they deserve to live. Soon after, it becomes one of the greatest regrets of their lives.

You have addictions.

When I talk about addiction it can range from alcohol, drugs, and other chemical substances to screens, social media, or food.

Addictions are a form of escapism and in many situations, it is a form of self-sabotage. And it is the most toxic form of self-sabotage. Since it is toxic in itself but it is also a means to run away from something that your mind comprehends as toxic.

So, you find a means to overcome thoughts, habits, or tendencies that trouble you and end up getting addicted to something that can harm you ten times over.

A simple way of self-sabotaging oneself via addictions is to get into an instant cycle of cheap dopamine instead of working on yourself, achieving something, and building a sustainable way of living.

You procrastinate a lot.

 Did you know that procrastination is also a form of self-sabotage? Everyone procrastinates now and again. But if your procrastination stops you from achieving your goals and further stops you from getting ahead in life then it is certainly a self-sabotaging behavior.

To understand whether you are sabotaging yourself or just delaying a task, you need to understand the cause of it. It is important to know that, to work on it accordingly.

Is it the perfectionism, fear of rejection, or fear of judgment holding you back from that task?

For example, you are not applying for your dream job and procrastinating to prepare for the interview. You may have the fear of rejection and that is why you are procrastinating. Therefore, you are sabotaging your success and your dream life.

Conclusion.

It is okay to lay back in your life sometimes, but when it becomes a part of your mindset, it restricts you from living the life you want. Thus, it becomes a self-sabotaging behavior.

Your self-sabotaging behavior is a form of life where you are living in denial. If this cycle continues it can lead to a very dis-satisfactory life. And you will have no one but to blame yourself for that.

Therefore, it is necessary to see the pattern, find the cause, and work on it as soon as possible.

You can always take the help of a registered therapist to know the pattern better.

Also read: 10 ways to stop sabotaging yourself.