Panache

Have you been feeling stuck in your life? Do you think you can live your best life but something always stops you from living up to your best potential?

Maybe that person is you. And it is you who have been sabotaging yourself. That is why you have been stuck in a rut.

 However, once you figure it out, you must take steps to change this behavior. Follow the steps below and work on yourself to stop sabotaging yourself and live the best, most successful version of yourself.

Also read: 10 signs you are sabotaging yourself.

Change your mindset.

The best way to stop sabotaging yourself is to work on your mindset. As soon as a negative thought seeps in, you need to stop it immediately and fill it with a productive, positive thought.

You also need to work on your belief system and your perspective towards yourself. Affirmations and guided meditations can help you with that. You can remind yourself that you are worthy of happiness and since you exude this energy, you only attract good things in life.

Your mindset is the lens through which you see the world and represent yourself. Therefore, you must start by setting goals and working on your mindset at the same time.

Also read: 10 things you wish you knew to improve your life.

Get over your fear.

Self-sabotage is rarely self-implicated in some cases. Most of the time, it is a result of past traumas, external factors, and influences, childhood beliefs absorbed in the character, or life experiences. All of this manifests itself in the form of fear of happiness or positivity in life.

You need to work on yourself and remove that fear with the belief that you are not only deserving of positivity in life but that happiness will stay with you no matter what.

You can do that through affirmation, journaling, sharing it with a trusted friend, or a therapist, and working on yourself. If you start understanding that it is a self-built cage, you will find the strength to break it and learn to start living for yourself.

Also read: How to “work on yourself” effectively?

Give yourself some credit.

When you think about all the hardships that you had, you think about the tough times, but you barely give yourself the credit that you had the strength and courage to get yourself out of those struggling moments.

When you read this, take a deep breath and thank yourself for being brave and enduring through those moments, you once thought would break you irrevocably.

Now, move on and fight other dire life challenges to know are braver than them. Appreciating yourself and giving yourself credit is the most underrated form of self-care. And you don’t have to spend a dime in doing that.

Just a thought of giving yourself some credit can make you shine like a million bucks.

Also Read: How to live for yourself?

Do not blame yourself for things.

Have you been blaming yourself for small things? Do you say “Sorry” a lot? As if you are sorry for your existence. But let me tell you it is not true and you do not have to blame yourself for any small thing that happens.

You need to take responsibility instead of blaming yourself. When you take responsibility, you tend to think critically about things. You get into why things happened the way they happened instead of blatantly taking the blame.

If you have been in the habit of doing it, you need to work on your self-image, self-esteem, and reasoning skills. When blaming yourself crosses your head, you need to immediately get yourself out of the equation and see things from a different perspective.

Blaming yourself for small things could be a conditioned behavior and is considered toxic in the long run. Hence, it is best to get rid of it as soon as possible.

Stop putting people on a pedestal.

You do not need to put yourself last to have your feelings and your existence validated. Similarly, you do not need to put people on a pedestal, hoping, they will one day recognize your efforts and give you as much respect as you give them.

Just like not taking the blame on you anymore, you need to be reasonable about who deserves your energy and how much. Initially, you can become a little selfish. People may notice your changed behavior and may start calling you out on that.

However, when you start conserving your energy and respecting yourself more, you will get rid of the toxic people. Instead, you will attract a sustainable tribe that stays with you through thick and thin.

Also Read: 10 effective ways to maintain healthy boundaries.

Get out of your comfort zone.

A great way to stop sabotaging yourself is to get out of your comfort zone and build something for yourself. You can be experimentative in your endeavors. The best part about pushing yourself and experimenting is not only to know your limits but to know yourself deeply.

When you are trying to know yourself effectively, you build a perspective about yourself and build yourself at the same time.

So, if anyone tries to manipulate you and sabotages you, including yourself, you immediately have a counter-thought or action that nullifies that behavior.

Similarly, you need to stop being regretful of your past and start building for your future. Regret is one of the biggest and non –productive forms of self-sabotage. The more you invest your time in regretting, the more you are resisting your success.

Also Read: 10 reasons why you could be lazy and demotivated.

Invest in yourself.

Continuing from the previous point, you need to invest in yourself more. Once you start giving yourself more time and energy put it to good use. You will know that you deserve more.

Your inner voice might tell you that you are not deserving of it. But you need to win over this voice and invest in yourself. It will be difficult in the beginning. Once you start seeing the results, you will realize, you are worth the effort and time.

Invest in a skillset, wardrobe, or life you always wanted to build. Soon, your confidence will enhance and your inner critic will quiet down.

Also Read: 8 things to know about yourself.

Practice Self-care.

Similar to investing in yourself, you need to start caring for yourself. The Internet has made us think, self-care is about lighting candles and doing a 12-step skincare routine on a less-stressed Friday night. But that comprises only half of the definition.

Self-care may also include being kind to yourself. Being gentle with yourself when you make a mistake. Forgiving yourself for the same. Self-care includes not letting people look down upon you.

Both kinds of self-care, external and mental are necessary. When you are in the habit of sabotaging yourself again and again, you need some extra love and care. And only you can give it to yourself. Self-care is the perfect way to start.

Also Read: 10 Underrated Ways of Self Care.

Defeat that inner voice.

Controlling your self-sabotaging behavior can be a long, tiresome process. For some, this behavior is the result of childhood conditioning and a toxic environment. Since such people do not have a healthy relationship with themselves, the first thing they need to get over is their inner voice.

It’s your inner voice that sabotages you. “You don’t deserve this.”, “You have no idea what you are doing.”, “Nobody loves you.” These statements are common in the minds of some people. But when these voices become louder, they hinder your path to success and make you procrastinate, it is manipulation by you.

Mindfulness and Meditation are two tools that can be used against the negative inner voice. You need to know the root of the voice. Stop it before it gets louder and louder and starts to manipulate you. You can control it by being kinder to yourself.

Also Read: How to deal with your inner bully?

Work through your trauma and past experiences.

Your traumas and past experiences are the roots of where your self-sabotaging behavior roots from. And if you want to control that, you need to work through your traumas.

Take the help journaling to understand your thoughts better. Share them with a trusted friend, or consult a therapist. Someone who can help you understand your past better, comprehend your feelings, and work through your complex feelings toward yourself.

You need to understand that you are a different entity than your experiences. Though those situations happened in your life they do not define you. Once you realize that you have more power than you think, you will be able to overcome these festering feelings and move forward in life.

Get rid of sabotaging habits.

Alcoholism, Cigarette Smoking, and consumption of cheap dopamine – like social media addiction, etc. are habits that induce escapism. And escapism is one of the most practiced self-sabotaging behaviors in everyday life.

You already know the physical, mental, and emotional consequences of these habits. Also, when they are consumed in the long term, they can stop you from living out your best life and living your true potential.

Similarly, procrastination is also a self-sabotaging habit you need to get rid of as soon as possible. Try to work through your schedule and the tasks you need to accomplish. Complete the hardest of tasks first when you have the most energy. And so and so forth.

Conclusion.

When you are working on your self-sabotaging habits, you need to ask yourself why and how I am getting in my way of achieving the things that you truly want in your life. Why am I not able to become the best version of myself? And am I the person holding myself back?

When you will contemplate and ask these questions you will take your first step to stop this kind of behavior. Though you may slip again, through self-love you can always have your priorities in line.