Panache

Maintaining healthy boundaries is not about stopping people from taking advantage of you. But it is also about understanding yourself and your needs and respecting yourself. It includes a better way of living towards a more fulfilling life.

Below are a few effective ways to maintain healthy boundaries mentally, emotionally, and physically. And most importantly, how to process when your boundaries are violated.

Also read: 10 instant signs you do not have healthy boundaries.

Know your boundaries.

One of the best ways to effectively implement your boundaries is to be aware of them. We are social creatures, and someone will inevitably step over the things that we do not want to discuss.

You may not be comfortable opening up about your emotions. You would not like someone to manipulate you in any way. Similarly, you may not be a hugger and would not like someone to touch you unless they are close to you.

Sometimes, your experiences may remind you what you like or don’t like. But once you have those experiences, please be aware of your boundaries. And be strict enough to implement them in your daily life. You need to lead a fulfilled life.

Also read: 8 things to know about yourself.

No empathy for narcissistic beings.

Narcissists feed on people who are emotionally vulnerable or highly sensitive. They are easier to trigger, and that caters to their ego. But once you become aware of your boundaries, it will be easier for you to recognize those signs.

You will easily be able to point out those behaviors when someone tries to take advantage of you in any shape or form. You can immediately maintain a distance from them and not entertain them any further.

You will know that these people do not deserve your energy, hence, it is not okay to be empathetic towards them. Once you realize this follow it through your behavior. You will instantly close yourself off from such people and go into your emotional cocoon.

Cut them off mentally.

Certain behaviors not only actively affect us, but we still can’t help it and keep thinking about what happened. In this way, certain traumatic experiences, traumas, and people remain a part of our lives by living rent-free in our minds. And that is not okay.

To maintain healthy mental hygiene so you can thrive in life, you need to consciously cut them off from your mind. Firstly, you need to validate your emotions and process them in a healthy way. Understanding what you are feeling is okay, but letting it linger in your mind for days is not healthy.

Hence, follow the advice, “out of sight, out of mind.” Do not hold on to the traumatic past and the memories of toxic people. Try to move on and see that it will cause lesser pain over time.

Please acknowledge that you do not have power over them.

There are times when you feel powerless and helpless in certain circumstances. People violate your boundaries and do not even realize it. They manipulate you emotionally, mentally, or sometimes physically, and you are left with a confused feeling about what to do.

In these circumstances, you need first to acknowledge that you do not have any power over them. But you have control over yourself, your space, and your circumstances. Try to detach. Talk to a friend or a therapist about it and heal yourself.

You may not stop them, but you can remove yourself from the toxicity around you and take care of yourself.

Do not take things personally.

Once you realize you have been taken advantage of, there is a high chance you may feel guilty about it. At this moment, remind yourself that it was not your fault and you do not need to blame yourself for their behavior.

Try to segregate your identity from the trauma that was caused by the toxic people in your life. Once you do that, you will realize that you are not the perpetrator, and you are not responsible for their behavior. Hence, there is no reason to blame yourself.

But it is your responsibility to maintain that distance and keep yourself away from toxic people or from anyone who can traumatize you in any shape or form. Keep your space (mental, emotional, and physical) a sacred space where no one can affect you.

Also read: How to learn to let go?

Practice saying no.

If you are a yes person and it takes a lot of effort to refuse someone or something, you might want to work on this habit. You may lose self-respect because of it. You may dread it later while doing something you never wanted to do in the first place.

Most importantly, you not only lose self-respect in people’s eyes but for yourself too. Also, you do not need to give any justification or clarification when you say No. You need to believe in the power of refusal; it does not need any further reason and is a statement.

So, next time someone asks you to do something, take a pause before you reply. Think critically, and then answer. You may think that by saying yes, you may be taken as the most agreeable, kind, or nice person, but that is not true. There are more chances for people to take your effort and time for granted.

Also read: Are you a yes person? Learn 5 ways to say ‘No’.

Address them for crossing your boundaries.

You always let go of their behavior when they cross your boundaries. They make a crass joke on you, and you let it go. They emotionally manipulate you, and you let it go. They may touch you where you do not want to be touched, and you tell yourself that it must be a mistake.

But when you think of the pattern, you feel guilty of letting those things happen to you while you know that your boundaries are being violated. To let go of that guilt and lose one’s self-respect, you need to address them and remind them that it is not okay to do that.

Some people are not aware of your boundaries, and it is okay to remind them. There is nothing offensive about reminding them to respect you and your space. You can address the same with your body language, by backing off and taking some space, or by telling them in private that it is not okay.

You letting them know means taking your own stand, and that is exactly what a self-respected and strong person would do.

Prioritize your needs and desires.

This is your recurring reminder not to let people walk all over you. While it is okay to live your life for loved ones, it is also okay to prioritize yourself, your desires, and your needs. You do not need someone else’s permission to do that.

If your people love and respect you, they will not only give you your own time and space to nourish yourself but also support you when you want to put your needs first. You must have a designated time for yourself. Be aware that you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Don’t let others define you.

Social media has made people more judgmental than ever. They try to conclude things with the smallest amount of information, sometimes with no context whatsoever. These people may define you and your personality based on their perception of you.

There are times when they cross your mental and emotional boundaries and start imposing their perception on you. This is a common trait of megalomaniacs and narcissists. While you may not have any control over what they do. You cannot let them define you.

Do not let them manipulate your thoughts or your understanding of yourself. You need to have a strong understanding of yourself. And no matter what they tell you or say about you, do not pay any attention to them.

Trust your gut feeling.

 Never ignore the signs from your intuition. If you feel in your gut that something is wrong, take immediate action and make some space. Feel free to walk away from a situation or from a group of people with whom you are not comfortable.

Communicate clearly that you are not comfortable and act on your inner voice. It is not only healthy to nurture it when needed but will also save you from a lot of situations that can turn traumatic in an instant.

Conclusion.

Though following the above ways is important, it is also necessary to have a strong and supportive group of friends who will listen to you and help you build a strong foundation for maintaining healthy boundaries.

Your family and friends can show you that you can be loved and respected with strong boundaries, some space, and a stronger sense of self.

Also read: 8 types of people you must stay away from.

Also read: How to deal with your inner bully?