Panache

If you have closely followed the case Depp V Heard, you might have heard a tape where Miss Heard is crying and not letting Mr. Depp go and meet his daughter. Even though he is been constantly, assuring her that he will be back, it is not enough for her.

This clearly shows the signs of an anxious attachment style. Nothing in the world can assure a person who feels that they can’t trust someone in a relationship. And are constantly worried that their partner will leave them no matter what.

Below are some glaring signs of a person practicing an anxious attachment in their relationship. Are you or someone you know has been in this relationship? Let us know.

You are never enough.

When you are in love, you want to do everything for your partner. You want to become the person they like knowingly or unknowingly. They change you and make you a better person before you even realize it.

But when your attachment style is anxious attachment, you feel you are never enough. No matter what you do, any disagreement or any argument makes you feel you are not enough for them. This does not only affect your relationship but also affects your self-esteem.

You will always feel less. Everything would make you feel that you are on the verge of losing your partner. This feeling takes you down with it. And you will conclude that you are unlovable and or not good enough to even have a partner in your life.

Always walking on eggshells.

A person with anxious attachment styles also has people-pleasing behaviors. That makes them anxious about everything in their relationship. They tend to avoid mistakes and things that will probably not be liked by their partner. This makes them prone to manipulation.

If you always feel that you are walking on eggshells in your relationship. Any wrong step can cause a breakup or losing the only person you have invested in so much. It means you have an anxious attachment to them.

Sometimes, there is nothing to be worried about. Your partner is fine with anything you do or try to be. But it is your anxiety that always keeps you on the edge. Therefore, it makes you walk on eggshells in your relationship all the time.

Fear of abandonment.

The signs of anxious attachment style can be equated to the signs of general anxiety. It begins with a small negative thought, further accelerating into a chain of negative thoughts, and then ending up with the ultimate destruction of everything.

A similar pattern is followed if you are anxiously attached to your partner. Your partner may be late for a couple of minutes on a planned date. But instead of waiting for him calmly. You start thinking of how you made all the mistakes in the relationships. Or how you are not good enough to be treated well.

And soon, he will leave you for someone else. This kind of fear is called the fear of abandonment. And it is quite common when you have an anxious attachment style. If the thought of your partner abandoning you now and again doesn’t let you sleep. You may be anxiously attached to them.

Always trying to please them.

Another product of having anxious attachments with your partner is trying to please your partner. Since you are emotionally vulnerable in your relationship. And have the fear of losing your partner because you may not be good enough for them, there are chances you try to please them.

Every lover wants to support their partner in their endeavors. However, anxious attachments manifest themselves in the form of always being a “yes” person to them. You try to validate everything that they do. Even though you feel something is wrong you support them because you are scared that denial may lead to losing them.

Every relationship needs an honest opinion from partners. Such healthy and honest communication is the backbone of any good relationship. But people pleasing in anxious attachments can be lethal for the romantic partnership.

Trust issues.

No matter how many times, your partner says that they love you, you don’t believe them. No matter how they prove their love, you don’t trust those gestures. You don’t trust the time they spend with you or the intimacy they share with you.

Trust is another pillar in a relationship. However, a person who is anxiously attached to their partner doesn’t believe it because they have severe trust issues. They are so anxious about their relationship, that they find it hard to relax. And can’t trust their partners.

Their fear makes them paranoid about the smallest of things. So, they seek opportunities that prove that their partner is not worth trusting over. Hence, giving rise to more cracks in the relationships.

Constantly need assurance.

Partners with anxious attachment styles believe that they are defined by their relationships. Their life, identity, and happiness are all defined by how good their relationship is with their partner. But they are also scared that they are neither good nor doing enough for their partner and relationship.

Therefore, they need that constant reassurance that everything is going well. Any miss in the reassurance can throw them off the track. They will start imagining the worst-case scenarios and end up blaming themselves.

Needing constant compliments, assurance, repeated calls, texts, or checking social media updates. Keeping tabs on every move or sometimes asking your friends about you are some signs of an anxious attachment style as well.

Oscillate between trust and fear.

Any person whose anxiety is dependent on someone else’s behavior is meant to live in turmoil. They seek assurance and crave intimacy all the time. But once they get it, they start questioning it in one way or the other.

This emotional turmoil is sometimes reflected in their behavior. Creating a drama about the smallest of miscommunication, misunderstanding, or being critical of every gesture, and fearing abandonment at the same time are some critical signs for someone who is dealing with anxious attachment.

All of this leads to their partner feeling exhausted or smothered in the relationship. They don’t know where they stand. No matter how much they prove them wrong about their fears it is never enough. No matter how much they prove that they are trustworthy, their anxious partners won’t be relieved.

Can’t handle rejection/ghosting.

Another major trait of anxious attachment is the fear of rejection. As they often think that they are not good enough for love or having a good partner, they are scared at the slightest hint of rejection or ghosting.

This belief and behavioral trait is what makes them a voracious dating app user. They will begin a conversation in hopes of making a long-term reliable relationship. But their fears and anxiety will make them believe that people have left them or were not interested in them, to begin with.

Rejection destroys their self-esteem which is already low, and shatters their hope for any love in their life. They may think that they might never get a partner or that someone might never like them romantically.

Clingy behavior.

With constant reassurance, a person with anxious attachment also tends to be clingy all the time. They do not do it because they want to but they do it because they are scared of losing their partner.

They may want to do everything with their partners. At times, they desperately want to know where you are and what you are doing. You may answer that honestly but it is hard for them to believe you.

Their clingy behavior and absence of free time make the relationships with them exhausting and suffocating.

Overanalyzing everything.

Have you ever experienced a tone of your voice? A word in the text? Or the way you acted has led your partner to ask you if you are committed enough to their partnership?

Overanalyzing the smallest of things is one of the major traits in people who have an anxious style of attachment. As mentioned above, they are always looking for the signs to prove their anxiety is telling them the right thing.

Hence, when they see signs of ignorance, their anxiety makes them jump to conclusions that their partner might be cheating on them or not committed enough.

Conclusion.

If your partner has an anxious attachment style, do not punish them or judge them for the same. Most of the time, they are not even aware that it is their anxiety that has been defining their relationships and actions.

This attachment style might be the result of an acquired behaviour throughout their childhood. With some understanding, empathy, reflection, and assurance, this type of attachment can be relieved eventually making a healthy relationship.