Panache

According to an article published in Psychology Today, “Saviour complex is a psychological construct which makes a person feel the need to save other people.” This person has a strong need to seek out people who are distressed and help them, often sacrificing their own needs.

Many people are unaware they have it. This guide reveals 10 signs of a savior complex to help you identify these traits in yourself and understand how they impact your mental health and relationships. Recognize the pattern, set healthy boundaries, and begin prioritizing your own needs.

Also Read: 9 ways to avoid saviour complex.

You attract damaged personalities.

Many people would have noticed that they attract a lot of damaged goods in their lives. These are the people who are openly or subtly fighting with one or more kinds of issues in their respective lives. These problems could be external as well as internal.

But as a person with a saviour complex, sometimes you attract them, but mostly, you seek them. You seek issues in other people’s lives. You not only attract damaged people, but you find damage in people. And you let them know that once they take care of it, their life will change for the better.

If you do not have any person in your life to share your problems with. But all the people come to you to seek a solution, there might be a possibility that you have a savior complex and you are not aware of it.

Also Read: 8 ways to protect yourself from the toxicity around you.

You help people without thinking about yourself.

Helping someone without expecting anything in return is the most noble deed ever. But do you put the problems of other people first instead of your own? You would rather offer relief to someone else instead of seeking a solution to what you have been suffering.

This is another common trait among people who have a savior complex. They use the problems in other people’s lives to escape from their own. This mechanism of escapism always leaves them behind, even though they are generally considered to be people doing good deeds.

It’s not that people take advantage of them. But, they try to look over their life and its goals, and would rather help someone else in what they could be stuck at.

You want external validation for generous deeds.

As mentioned above, people with savior complexes are often left alone in their lives even though they help everyone they come across. So, why do they do it? What satisfaction do they achieve after putting themselves last in their own lives?

The answer to that question is that they want to be perceived as a hero. As someone who always did the right things and sacrificed themselves for the greater good. They want people to know how good and selfless they are as a person.

Just doing things is not enough. A person with a savior complex would want everyone to take their name as a hero. This kind of external validation not only caters to their ego but also becomes a part of their identity. Thus, it is toxic for the person.

You always offer advice.

Have you ever met a person who has a solution for every problem in your life, but somehow can’t get them out of the hellhole they are in? Most people must have met this personality in one way or the other ways.

This is the biggest sign of a person with a savior complex; no matter what the situation is, they have a solution. Sometimes, they want to impose that solution on you. They would tell you a thousand advantages of the advice you just gave them to make sure you take their advice.

One of the biggest disadvantages of having a savior complex is that there is a high probability that they might not know anything about the problem, the niche, or the industry that you are talking about. And yet, they would present themselves as an expert so that you take their advice no matter the consequences of it.

Your worth is defined by external validation.

“I want to be loved by everyone.” This is the primary motto of a person with a savior complex. Whether they realize it or not. If you want everyone to like you and secretly appreciate you for what you have done for them. You want everyone to praise you and sing the glory of your noble deeds.

There is a high chance you also have a savior complex. You are relying on others to define you and your worth. This can go other side as well. People may criticize you, and you feel in getting the validation that you desperately need.

This will lower your confidence and affect your self-esteem. The worst part is that since this validation comes from external factors you have no control over it. And you will always be worried about your image in the eyes of people. This way, you may never learn to live for yourself.

Everyone is your responsibility.

Sometimes, you let things go. Sometimes, you let things be. The deeds of other people are not your responsibility. If you have a savior complex, you may find it extremely difficult to come to terms with it.

Anytime you see someone vulnerable, someone, who has gone through a lot or simply comes across as weak. It becomes your solemn duty to rescue them no matter what. They may not have asked for help, but you want to be there for them.

You may not realize it, but this behavior may stem from your childhood. You may have to take responsibility early in your childhood. Or you have to pay bigger consequences for something small. Or you may have had to take care of your parents because they were not capable of doing so.

You cross boundaries all the time.

To accomplish your hero status, you may cross boundaries with people. You are so paranoid and worried about people that you don’t realize that it is their personal space, and you go beyond that to help them or save them.

Carrie’s best friend is extremely worried about her all the time. Ever since Carrie has told her about how her ex-boyfriend cheated on her with another of her classmates. Her best friend makes sure to know the whereabouts and history of every guy she shows interest in.

This has made Carrie’s love life not only difficult, but she has had to warn her best friend about it. Explaining to her that it is okay that she worries about her, but her behavior is still not healthy.

Also Read: 10 instant signs you do not have healthy boundaries.

Also Read: 10 effective ways to maintain healthy boundaries.

You are Mr./Ms. “Know it all.”

No matter what problem someone may have in their lives, a person with a savior complex would have a solution. They not only have advice for other people. They are the ultimate experts for them.

You may see this kind of behavior in some influencers. No matter the niche, they would try to warn people about something like autism or neurodivergent. On the contrary, they can only share their own experience and not diagnose anyone about anything.

These people may seem like experts. But rarely mention that they need an actual expert or doctor. Because there could be so many factors or information that need to be considered.

These influencers may come across as saviors, considering the positive and empathic comments on their profiles. However, they are not spreading the right information regarding the matter.

You are always on a rescue mission.

So, what is the life’s purpose of a person with a savior complex? It is to spot a person in distress and rescue them, whether it is their business or not. These are the people who are always on a rescue mission.

Another major trait of these people is that they are not satisfied with their lives. And being a hero in someone’s story gives them the purpose they always sought. You may see them helping people. You may see them fighting for others. You may also see them taking care of the things they had no business in.

But from their perspective, they are The Avengers, and every once in a while, someone needs to be saved. So, they are the neighborhood’s helping buddy to the rescue.

You are better than others because you are a hero.

A Savior complex may bring a hint of narcissism in someone’s personality. Such people may think that it is they who have done the deeds no other person in the world could. If not for them, certain plans would have failed.

And everything they have done makes them the best human in the world. All the sacrifices make them better than everyone else. And whoever comes in contact with them must not only know their deeds. But they must also consider them their HERO.

Conclusion.

If you ever feel the need to save someone, ask yourself, Is it your unresolved wounds that are pushing you to feel that way? Or you genuinely want to help someone.

Never go above and beyond to help someone who has never asked you for it. Any help/ advice/ suggestion is only valuable when asked.

Savior complex is not a bad trait to have, but if it affects a healthy relationship with yourself, you probably have to think about it again.

Also Read: How to support a friend struggling with mental illness?